


Tell Me If Somehow Some of It Remained

by TornThorn



Series: Alone With You [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: (Caduceus is maybe coming around to the idea), Abandonment, Angst, Found Family, Gen, Spoilers, Tags to C2Ep96: Family Shatters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22834693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TornThorn/pseuds/TornThorn
Summary: After the Menagerie, Caduceus considers the passage of time.(Pink cow man is sad again.)
Series: Alone With You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1641526
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	Tell Me If Somehow Some of It Remained

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, I have more feelings about Cad than I thought.

On the night after the rest of his family has been un-petrified, Caduceus sits alone in a corner of the tavern. They’re back, and he’s still alone.

He should be happy. He’s spent so long thinking that they didn’t want to communicate with him, that they were busy or even dead. None of that was true. They didn’t willfully abandon him for a decade, they didn’t ignore his attempts to reach out.

He should be happy. He should be overjoyed. And he is, a little. Seeing them all alive was a blessing. Jester found a way to bring back his aunt when they all thought she was as good as lost. His parents and Corrin were proud of him, and Calliope was begrudgingly kind in her way, and Colton was- well, Colton was still Colton.

And Clarabelle, his favorite, his best friend growing up, had taken the first opportunity to gather a jar of insects just for him, and that felt better than anything the rest of them said about heroics and successful quests.

None of that, _none of that_ , changed years and years and years alone. Of waiting and waiting, with no one coming back, no one sending a letter or a magical message. He wasn’t who he used to be, and his family were only seeing the edges of that change. And it was painful to realize they _were_ the same. That their relationships with each other were what they had always been. They would go home and save the Blooming Grove and return to life as it was. A part of him wanted to go with them, so very badly. Another part recognized it wouldn’t matter. He couldn’t get his childhood back. They would all naturally fall into old patterns, the way life was meant to be at the Clay family home, and if he went - he would be the loose string in the weave. He would pull it to pieces.

So he told them he owed his friends. (He did. They had gone along on a quest none of them personally cared about, simply because he asked.) But it was also an excuse to not go back and see his family return to living their lives, and knowing he would be an outsider. He’s still alone.

And then a bright blue hand carefully places a cup on the table in front of him and a matching voice singsongs, “Caduuuuceus, they have milk!” And taking the seat on his other side, clapping a hand on his shoulder, is someone armored and green. Tall and pale and dark, another person pulls out a bone harp, followed quickly by the long-suffering sigh of someone in brilliant blues that sprawls into a chair, pushing mugs over towards sun-weathered, worn hands busy pulling out a book, and tiny, green hands reaching eagerly for the drink. Someone takes a gulp of the liquid, before sputtering and declaring, “What the fuck, Beauregard? This is _water!_ ” And a soft, rumbling voice responds, “Good, I don’t have to slap it out of your mouth.”

As the eerie sound of strings being plucked on the strange harp fills their little corner, Jester rest her head against his shoulder and quietly huffs, “Family is complicated, isn’t it?”

The loneliness abruptly feels less suffocating.

Caduceus lets himself settle a little more fully in his chair, leans toward the warmth, and can’t help the way his lips tilt up. Just a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from As It Was, by Hozier


End file.
